In order to appear perfectly
well-bred at table when in company, or in public, as at a hotel, you must pay
attention, three times a day, to the points of table etiquette. If you neglect
these little details at home and in private, they will be performed awkwardly
and with an air of restraint when you are in company. By making them habitual,
they will become natural, and appear easily, and sit gracefully upon you. Even
when eating entirely alone, observe these little details, thus making the most
finished and elegant manners perfectly familiar, and thus avoiding the stiff,
awkward air you will wear if you keep your politeness only for company, when
you will be constantly apprehensive of doing wrong. The other table etiquettes
are:
·
At breakfast or tea, if your seat is at the head
of the table, you must, before taking anything upon your own plate, fill a cup
for each one of the family, and pass them round, being careful to suit each one
in the preparation of the cup, that none may return to you for more tea, water,
sugar, or milk. If you have a visitor, pass the cup with the tea or coffee
alone in it, and hand with the cup the sugar bowl and cream pitcher, that these
may be added in the quantity preferred.
·
After all the cups have been filled and passed
round, you may take the bread, butter, and other food upon your own plate.
Train your children, so that they will pass these things to you as soon as they
see you are ready to receive them.
·
If you are yourself at the side of the table,
pass the bread, butter, etc., to the lady at the head, when you see that she
has sent the cups from the waiter before her, to those seated at the table.
·
If you occupy the place of head of the table,
you must watch the cups, offer to fill them when empty, and also see that each
one of the family is well helped to the other articles upon the table.
·
Avoid making any noise in eating, even if each
meal is eaten in solitary state. It is a disgusting habit, and one not easily
cured if once contracted, to make any noise with the lips when eating.
·
Never put large pieces of food into your mouth.
Eat slowly, and cut your food into small pieces before putting it into your
mouth.
·
Use your fork, or spoon, never your knife, to
put your food into your mouth. At dinner, hold in your left hand a piece of
bread, and raise your meat or vegetables with the fork, holding the bread to
prevent the pieces slipping from the plate.
·
If you are asked at table what part of the meat
you prefer, name your favorite piece, but do not give such information unless
asked to do so. To point out any especial part of a dish, and ask for it, is
ill-bred. To answer, when asked to select a part, that "it is a matter of
indifference," or, "I can eat any part," is annoying to the
carver, as he cares less than yourself certainly, and would prefer to give you
the piece you really like best.
·
Do not pour coffee or tea from your cup into
your saucer, and do not blow either these or soup. Wait until they cool.
·
Use the butter-knife, salt-spoon, and
sugar-tongs as scrupulously when alone, as if a room full of people were
watching you. Otherwise, you may neglect to do so when the omission will
mortify you.
·
Never put poultry or fish bones, or the stones
of fruit, upon the table-cloth, but place them on the edge of your plate.
·
Do not begin to eat until others at the table
are ready to commence too.
·
Sit easily in your chair, neither too near the
table, nor too far from it, and avoid such tricks as putting your arms on the
table, leaning back lazily in your chair, or playing with your knife, fork, or
spoon.
·
Never raise your voice, when speaking, any
higher than is necessary. The clear articulation and distinct pronunciation of
each word, will make a low tone more agreeable and more easily understood, than
the loudest tone, if the speech is rapid or indistinct.
·
Never pass your plate with the knife or fork
upon it, and when you pass your cup, put the spoon in the saucer.
·
Never pile up the food on your plate. It looks
as if you feared it would all be gone before you could be helped again, and it
will certainly make your attempts to cut the food awkward, if your plate is
crowded.
·
If there is a delicacy upon the table, partake
of it sparingly, and never help yourself to it a second time.
·
If you wish to cough, or use your handkerchief,
rise from the table, and leave the room. If you have not time to do this, cover
your mouth, and turn your head aside from the table, and perform the
disagreeable necessity as rapidly and quietly as possible.
·
Avoid gesticulation at the table. Indeed, a
well-bred lady will never gesticulate, but converse quietly, letting the
expression and animation of her features give force to her words.
·
Never, when at the home table, leave it until
the other members of the family are also ready to rise.
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